The First Interview: Trinolla

Interesting People Magazine's Terry Norman Interviews Igorella Trinolla, Personal and Laboratory Assistant to Dr. Strawbones.


Terry Norman: How long have you been employed as Dr. Strawbones’ lab assistant?

Igorella Trinolla: Laboratory assistant . . . well, well five - no, yes. All my working life. About that or so.

TN: You agreed to an interview after Dr. Strawbones declined. Why was it she gave her blessing on this interview but wouldn’t do one herself?

IT: Just things, just little things, just she’s no good at talking about herself. You see, it’s that way. Especially to people who use words like ‘lab’.

TN: Yet, she has a lab.

IT: No. Laboratory.

TN: I see. She’s very particular about things?

IT: Cheese, mustard, salami, capers, mayonnaise, cheese.

TN: Pardon?

IT: It’s the only way that she’ll ever eat her sandwich. If one thing is out of place it’s wrong. Talkenlong knows that you see, ‘cause he knows these things or else . . .

TN: Yeah, interesting. Good thing we all aren’t so particular. Uh, now you have known Dr. Strawbones for quite a long time. What can you say of her that perhaps the public doesn’t know.

IT: Well, it would proabably be safe to say . . . wait. What exactly does the Public know? I mean why? Has the Public been asking sneaky questions? That’s typical, just like the stupid, mindless, bahing, bleating - I mean, what exactly does the Public know?

TN: Well, truthfully . . . nothing.

IT: Good, definitely.

TN: I mean to ask, what is an average day in the lab like?

IT: . . .

TN: In the laboratory.

IT: I can’t say, no.

TN: Okay. Perhaps then a few words on what it has been like working with a genius like Dr. Strawbones?

IT:. . . She’s totally mad.